Friday, September 20, 2013

It happened to us.

You know all that annoying talk people say " Just relax and it will happen...adopt and it will IVF and watch you'll get pregnant on your own!" You know all the things they say. That at the time are so completely irritating, but as we learned this past can actually happen...

I had been feeling like my period was coming on, but it seemed weird to me because I always ovulate late and my period hardly ever shows up on time. But I just had this funny feeling. I was having weird back cramps that I only remember having after my transfer with Samantha. So while I was in Wal Mart the day before I decided to just pick up a cheap test. Just a single $4 dollar test. Because of course it was gonna be negative right and I sure as hell didn't want to spend $$$ on a digital. 

I didn't even take it right when I got home. I put it under the sink and I almost forgot Tuesday morning but then I remembered! So I POAS (wow haven't used that phrase in awhile) and put it on the counter and hopped in the shower. When I got out the bathroom was all steamy but I looked down at the test. And there it was...a very faint cross...a faint's positive!! 

But I managed to keep my cool. I didn't even tell Matt right away. I ended up calling my old fertility clinic to set up an appt ASAP. Because I KNEW I would need progesterone supplements right away. So after calling them I called my husband and asked him if he could come home quick, that I thought Sam had a weird rash and if he could take a look at it. Nice right? He works in town so it wasn't a big deal. So when he got home he was frantically searching our daughter for this rash when I showed him the pee stick! 

Our emotions were that of excitement, SHOCK, happiness, overwhelmed and nervous! You name it, we were feeling it. 

So the next day I went for my first beta. It was so strange walking back in that place. Kind of nice in a way knowing I had my beautiful girl at home, but also my heart rate definitely  increased walking in there! One of my old nurses recognized me right away and gave me a huge hug! If you are wondering why I went back there and not my OB, I just knew I would be more closely monitored right away but we are going to be heading to the OB (if all goes okay) soon. 

Our excitement balloon was soon deflated a little when my beta only came back at 48.2 :( I was so sad. It really made me feel hopeless like this was a big tease. But then our beta today was 143.6!!! It pretty much tripled!! What a sigh of relief! Sure it's not a supersize beta but it tripled and we are celebrating that!!!! The nurse was happy with it and my next bloodwork and appt is next fri! If all is well after that we head to the OB. 

We are not far along at all...just a few we know exactly when we conceived (our 3 year anniversary on the 4th!) But I know they count two weeks before that but I'm not buying it really because the HCG can't start until the egg if fertilized at least. 

You might be wondering why I am announcing this on my blog so early, because we do have a long way to go. But I just figured that we could use PRAYERS!! So if you are the praying kind...please pray for us!!! Also, if you are friends with me on IG or Facebook...please don't say anything on there! Thank you! :) 

So, there you have it. Samantha is going to be a Big Sister (God willing!). I am trying so hard to relax and just let things happen as they will and not worry about it! But you know how that goes....

If all goes well, this peanut should arrive late May/Early June I believe....

I'm just gonna keep talking to this new baby and telling him/her to stick around and grow!!!

Thank you so much for the prayers!!

Big Sis

I had to go buy a digital  the day after to see the actual word "Pregnant" :)

Friday, September 13, 2013

NICU Nurse

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook tonight. My face was streaked with tears by the time I got to the end of it....<3 p="">

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

18 Months

Samantha turned 18 months old last Sunday!!!! There is so much happening with our girl, it's nuts! She really has a funny little personality now and is into everything! She loves to explore and doesn't turn down a good climbing obstacle :) Her vocabulary is slowly expanding and she is becoming more friendly with strangers! There are about 1,436 specific things I would like to share about our big girl (who I am kidding..still our little peanut..weighs about 20 pounds!) but I'll be honest...I am TOO tired to put together a well written post about it! How horrible is that??!!! Yes, I will take the title of slacker Mom in the blog world :) Someday I hope to get back to blogging like I used too. I am back working from home full time (babysitting). I watch a 9 month old girl, a 2 year old boy and Samantha!!! I am exhausted!!!! But I am glad I am able to be with my daughter. I am actually making more now, then I did at my old job!! So it is working for us right now.

Like I said, there are so many wonderful things to share about Sam!! And some not so nice things like lack of sleep and the beginning of tantrums! But overall, she is just a little bundle of love and joy for us and we thank God everyday for choosing her to be OURS. :)

Even though I am usually too exhausted to put together a coherent post, I do try to check in from time to time and read and comment. I also like to go back and read some of my older posts. Does anyone else do this? I'm so glad I decided to document our journey this way. Sometimes it's very therapeutic to go back and read about all the happy times and the struggles too! It really makes you realize how far you've come. And tonight I stumbled upon a post I wrote up where I was doing a contest giveaway. To enter you had to come up with a new infertility drug and list it's side effects. The funnier the better. Reading them again had me cracking up!

I will leave you with few pictures of all her 18 month old glory...

Go Chiefs!

Baby jeans! Swoon!
Tutu cute

Samantha and her baby BFF Kaya! Kaya turns ONE tomorrow!

She thinks this little art table is a chair...