Drowning.

Ok, ladies. It's time to get real here with ya for a minute. I've decided to look into taking an anti-depressant. I'm just drowning here. Since our baby girl was born I have felt like I'm barely keeping my head above water. I always thought I had a touch of post partum depression but was trying to just work through it.

Well, I can't.

It's just gotten to be too much. It all started from feeling like I never got to "say goodbye" to my pregnancy with everything that happened. And then the NICU was physically and emotionally draining. And now the colic and not being able to soothe my baby girl. It's gotten worse and we are working with the doctor to find a solution so that our poor girl feels better. We don't think it's just colic I just know somethings not right with her stomach.  Anyways, it has been really really tough. I cry A LOT. Today, on my first Mother's Day, while my daughter and husband were napping, I stood in the kitchen and cried. Not a "Oh I'm so happy cry" but a "OMG I'm drowning in the baby blues...somebody or something save me!"

So, I'm hoping to get on some medication this week to help me get out of this...

It's hard to even bring this up, because a lot of people don't understand how the baby blues work. They think "You finally have you miracle baby why can't you just be happy??!!" Well, it doesn't work like that. I can't control this. I love my girl more than anything in the world!!! I just need some help to me get through this rough time.

So there ya have it. Bring on the drugs.

**Oh, the pictures I posted of Samantha in my last post, unfortunately it wasn't a real smile. I think I caught her mid yawn or mid squirm. Wish it was though! :)**