On Friday I emailed a nurse at the RE's office to ask if it was still possible to go ahead with my surgery if I have my period. I checked my inbox tonight and her reply was " When is your period due? But according to the doctor, probably not."
WTF. After I read that I was very much on the verge of crying and/or punching something. Panic has arrived...
My last two cycles started on April 11th and May 12th. So I should be expecting it any day right? Sometimes my cycles are so off that I'm never really sure when it should start. When I was on birth control (years ago) it seemed like my period was never the same week in each month. The little colored pills seems to rotate. So I think that's why I'm confused. Plus, I just got a positive OPK last Saturday on CD 24, wouldn't it be a whole extra week before I should expect AF then?? Can you ovulate so close to the end of a 28 day cycle?? I know all that I'm asking might sound so stupid, but I would appreciate any wisdom in the AF department. I probably should know how menstrual cycles work by now. But I guess in all honesty, I DON'T :)
This surgery HAS to happen on the 21st. For so many reasons. Please AF, I need you to arrive. Do me proud. You showed up in a fury on the day of my beta last month. Oh so punctual. Please don't let me down.
We went to my niece Rory's 1st birthday party today up in Saratoga. She is so stinkin cute. And there was an abundance of other cute lil munchkins there as well. It's funny, that ache in my heart to have a child is always there. But it's even stronger on days like this. Where you see all the young families and they are so happy and just oozing happiness. We want that. We want our little family.
There was a couple there with a two year old little boy and a newborn baby boy. The little boy was absolutely adorable and he came in up on his dad's shoulders. I couldn't stop looking at him because there was something so special about him. He was super cute but there was something else about him that I couldn't quite put my finger on. We were sitting talking with my mom when she leaned over and whispered " That's the couple I was telling you about that did IVF at your center." I almost stopped breathing because I felt like in some weird way I sensed it. Turns out they did IVF and it worked (hence the two year old) and then later got pregnant on their own and had another baby boy. Which explains the newborn. Amazing. I had this crazy urge to go pick up the two year old boy and hug him and say " We're hoping for a miracle, just like you." But of course I didn't because that would be super creepy...
I mean, come on, infertility hasn't stolen all of my social skills. :)
Just most of them.