Friday, June 24, 2011

Seeds have been planted.

And not in the way you might be thinking.

My mom came over after work to keep me company while my husband was working. She brought over dinner and we just hung out for a little while. She knew I had the "post-op blues" and she wanted to help me feel better. Love my mom....

Tonight I got a call from her, which I thought was her just checking in on me. But it was about something else. Something unbelievable. I debated even writing this post, but I use this space to vent and get my thoughts out so that is what I'm going to do....

She proceeded to tell me that a family friend of ours met someone this week who was considering putting their children up for adoption. Yes, children. Babies. Five month old twin baby girls. We don't know all the details about the situation or if this even would happen. Which is why we're NOT getting our hopes up. I guess our family friend has seen the girls before and he said they are so beautiful and healthy. We don't really know anything else. Of course , I was hammering my mom with questions, " I don't understand why they would want to give them up?" " Are the mom and dad together?" " Can they just not afford to raise them?" I wanted answers. But unfortunately we don't have any right now. I am very much aware that something like this would fall through, that maybe the parents are just scared and confused, that maybe this hoping is all for nothing. But now that these "seeds" are planted in my head I can't stop thinking about these baby girls. It makes me really sad that there are two beautiful, healthy twin girls out there who's parents aren't even sure they want them. It's sad. And I'm trying not to judge. I keep thinking too, it's taken them five whole months to realize they may not want them? Aren't they attached to them? So many questions swirling around my head. I know there are all different reasons why people put there children up for adoption. So I'm trying to keep an open mind...

Like I said, we are not going to get our hopes up. It was just a random phone call that has planted a seed in me. If by some miracle we were to adopt these girls, we still would keep trying on our own.

I just had Lap surgery. We are starting IVF next month. We get this phone call today.

What is my mind doing? Spinning. What is my heart doing? Pounding away at the thought of holding twin baby girls in my arms. I don't know if I could handle the happiness.

8 comments:

cgd said...

whoa, crazy twist in the story. will be checking for updates, I think I am getting excited for you!!!

Seriously?! said...

Wow! That's incredible!!! So exciting, yet scary, and sad...like you mentioned. So many emotions all mixed together. My heart would be pounding too!!! Fingers crossed for beautifully blossoming seeds!!!

Jill aka ThatMoxieGirl Designs said...

Sometimes allowing your children to be adopted by someone else is giving them the gift of a better life, not about you not wanting them.

Marissa said...

Oh wow.

I'm speechless.

I don't even know what to hope for, here. Happiness for all involved, I suppose.

But wow. No wonder you're feeling a bunch of stuff all at once!!

beauty and insanity wrapped into one said...

wow... this is all good news... try to get more info about the twins, and see if its real, perhaps you can do a private adoption done w/out an agency.. that would save you a TON of money... and perhaps give you fist dibs... fingers crossed <3

Faith said...

Wow, it is something to think about. As I'm sure you know, adoption is not something to take lightly. You might want to start reading up on the issues adopted children face right now, just in case. It's a lot..more than those of us who aren't adopted can fully comprehend. I can suggest some books if you want. And if you do have twin girls, and get pregnant - oh my, you are gonna be one busy momma, lol! I know this to be true because my head is spinning most days with just 2 babies! Good luck, hun, and keep us updated as you can!

Honeybee said...

wow, i think my head would be spinning too!

my brother and myself were adopted when i was 4 and he was 3 - our birth parents were unable to care for us due to drug and alcohol addictions and they knew we deserved a better life. it was/is an open adoption so i do know and have a relationship with them to this day, but they'll never replace my REAL mom and dad! :)

can't wait to hear updates, best of luck!

amiracle4us said...

Sometimes events happen at the right moment. Maybe you won't get these little girls, but maybe it was meant to plant that seed for the future. Maybe it happened to take your mind off IVF so you will be more relaxed. Maybe you will get this wonderful gift of two baby girls!
Either way, I respect the mom for putting them up for adoption, whatever her reason, bc she is thinking of them and not her.
hugs and hope!!!