Oh, blog friends. I have been meaning to post about this issue for weeks now and I just finally seem to have a few minutes to post more than just a picture. Let me start off by saying that CIO is a bastard. Yes, a bastard. I actually had a nastier word for this (it rhymes with brother lucker) but I couldn't bring myself to type that on here. I'm trying to keep it somewhat classy on here. ha.
So, it has been no secret since we brought our sweet Samantha home from the NICU back in April that she is not a good sleeper. She was SUPER colicky her first three months and then it got better. But still she doesn't nap or sleep very well at night. We've tried EVERYTHING. Changing up schedules, food, bottles, binkies (she hates them!), and I even tried a lovie in her crib with her the other night. Is that a gasp I heard? Yes, I put something in my daughter's crib with her. Yes, I know it's not so safe and we were really nervous about it. However, we have noticed over the last month or so when she is tired and wants to nap or is about to go to sleep she likes to rub a bib or blanket on her face. Almost covering her face a bit. Which freaks us out because of the obvious we do not want her to suffocate herself!! But the other night I decided to put one in her crib and watch her like a hawk on the monitor.
Let me back up and say. She does sleep in her crib, usually all night, occassionally if things get bad we have to come out to the living room for her swing. But she goes down okay at night, the problem is that she wakes up frequently through the night. Usually she wakes up every hour crying until midnight or so and then will usually go a few hour stretch, but then sometimes will up between 3-5 for the day. Sometimes she will shock us and go 7-7 with only waking up once. I feel like it's always changing! And yes we have tried to push her bedtime back, but it doesn't seem to make a difference.
So, back to the lovie the other night. She woke up crying and I watched her as she grabbed the lovie, rubbed on her face and went back to sleep! I was SHOCKED! And then it happened again. She woke up crying, rubbed lovie on face and went back to sleep! I was so excited! But then the rest of the night didn't go as well. She had no interest in the lovie after that :(
We have tried the CIO method. But probably a half-assed version of it. The longest we've let her cry is about 25 minutes. I know, that's probably not long enough in the CIO world. But this is not a little whiney cry. It's a full blown tears, screaming, practically hyperventilating cry!!! It is SO awful. And of course every minute letting her cry like this feels like an eternity. I guess I don't understand CIO so much, because it says to go in every few minutes and just pat them etc. And then to stay away for longer periods. However, this is just worse for my girl. If I go in to pat her, she's gets happy and relieved and thinks I am going to pick her up and then when I don't and walk out, she's just back to freaking out! I've read some articles saying your child should be at least 9 months before trying this. Well Sam will be 10 months in a few days, but she is only 8 months adjusted age. Like tonight for instance, she was super tired, it wasn't like she was raring to go, we did our normal routine, she went down fine. But then about 45 min later she was screaming like a banshee. Tears and everything. I went in, rocked her, put her back down. She woke up ten min later screaming again. I went in rocked her, put her down, she was back out. Ten min later the same, but I tried to let her cry it out for a awhile which did NOT work out!
I will be honest. I used to be the person that would roll their eyes at parents who couldn't let their kid cry it out. I used to think "Just DO it!" But now, that is biting me in the ass. I totally understand how hard it is and how it does not work for everyone. I have had many people tell me " CIO worked for our first kid, but not the second." At this point, we would even be open to co sleeping but she's not really a fan of our bed, I think she likes her own space! So I know the one good thing is that she sleeps in her crib. We have that going for us. But the sleep is sooo sporadic! It's horrible. I don't judge the parents who have let their kid CIO because if it's works then that is awesome!! My sleep is definitely suffering big time and there are times where part of me thinks I should just let her cry for hours. But I can't and I won't. I guess I just see it as I've waited for years for this precious girl and if she needs me...she needs me....I want her to know I will come to her if she needs me! And I know that makes me sound like my kid's b****. Honestly, I think it's because she's a baby and I can't reason with her. Trust me, if she were four I would have NO problem with letting the her "tantrum it out" and not giving in to something. But just seeing my sweet baby's face soaked with tears on the monitor has me running to her!!! I know, I know. Many of you are probably saying I am screwing myself. That it's my own fault that I don't sleep. But for now, this CIO is not for us. Maybe when she's a bit older? I don't know.
She has slept through the night just once since bringing her home. I can't tell you how many times people have said to me "My kids 3 and she doesn't sleep through the night!" That's not helping people ;) I keep telling myself "this too shall pass." I actually daydream about the day she will sleep in and I can get up and have coffee and start my day not in a zombie mode. Even her getting up just once a night is something I can manage, it's just the every hour thing that takes a toll!
I think her main issue is that she has a hard time self-soothing. I wish she would take a binky! I know, what parent wishes for that habit to start?? ME :)
Ok, my CIO vent session is over. And just to be clear I do not think one parent is better than another if they do or don't let their child CIO. What works for some...doesn't work for others...
All I know is that I miss sleep :) My parents got us a new mattress set for Christmas and I don't see much of it...