Sunday, January 22, 2012

So sick...and so sick of FEAR...

I'm not sure if I mentioned it, but I've been feeling like crap all week. My asthma has been acting up as it always does when the weather turns really cold. But it's accompanied by a nasty dry cough that makes the asthma even worse. I've been coughing so hard that I've thrown up a few times. Well, more like it comes up my throat a bit. Gross. And a few times I thought I was going to pass out or fall over from not being able to catch my breath while coughing. I've been wheezing, sleeping like crap and my ventolin inhaler has been pretty much useless.

Unfortunately, this morning I felt even worse and knew it was time to go to Urgent Care. I know the whole "If I can't breathe, baby can't breathe" speech and I full understand it. But it doesn't take away the fact that I am SCARED OUT OF MY MIND how this might be negatively affecting our baby. The urgent care doctor checked me out and said I have Bronchitis and he gave me an albuterol nebulizer treatment in the office. Which right after my lungs did feel a bit better. Although, I immediately started feeling some cramping :( I have a big fear of nebulizer treatments because the last time I actually had to have one was a little over two years ago, just days before we miscarried. So I was sent home from urgent care with a script for another z-pack and instructions to do the neb every four hours.

Something else that has me in complete fear is that for the past three and a half weeks I have been on some sort of antibiotic. First there was the z-pack the urgent care prescribed for an upper respiratory infection, then was the visit to the hospital where they put me on IV antibiotics and then they sent me home with Macrobid for 7 days. Which made me so sick. And now I'm back on a z-pack AND neb treatments.

What sucks is that I did another neb treatment a little while ago and it barely helped any :( Made my heart race and made the baby go crazy in my stomach. Which makes me sad because I know that means the meds are making her heart race too, that's why she's moving so much. And then after the treatment I started cramping again.


I did call and speak to my OB. I'm sure she was so happy to get my call on a Sunday afternoon, but whatever. I just needed to be sure that all these meds weren't going to kill my baby. And she (kind of) assured me they wouldn't. But she does want me to follow up with my primary doctor in a few days to make sure I'm getting better, because she's worried about pneumonia which is basically like one of the worst illnesses that can happen to you while pregnant. She even mentioned I might need a steroid or an x-ray. An x-ray huh? Like an x-ray they don't want pregnant women to have? Great. Not to mention I'm still in major stress/freak out mode about the recent news about Samantha's legs :( That appointment is on Tuesday.

Also, and my husband thinks I'm crazy for thinking this, but I feel like the baby has dropped. With all the coughing I've been doing it seems like a real possibility to me. I actually noticed it today that my bump doesn't seem to be as high up as was, it's more droopy now and not as hard :( Who knows...I could be crazy...

I would just really like to check myself into a hospital and stay there until April. I feel like we are always at the doctor's office or hospital dealing with some crisis. And not to mention all the money spent on co-pays and meds. I have a list on my fridge of upcoming appointments and I'm not even joking there are ten of them on there..well no now there's eleven if I include the follow up with the primary doc I'm supposed to make.

I know this post may sound like I'm a big complainer. But I'm just venting. I'm so tired of being sick and I'm so tired of living in fear that all these meds might be hurting our baby. I think it's one of the scariest feelings ever. Knowing that you HAVE to take these meds to get better and keep yourself alive but at the same time having no clue if it's affecting the baby. And I have a feeling it might get worse this week before it's gets better.  I'm pretty sure my primary doctor is going to add a steroid to my albuterol neb. Because the last neb I just didn't really help at all. I want to take a nap, but it's kind of scary trying to sleep when you can't breathe!

If you are the praying type, please keep us in your prayers that I miraculously start feeling better and that our specialist u/s for Samantha goes well on Tuesday. I really really really appreciate it :)

13 comments:

Our Journey Through This Lovely Life said...

Oh my! I feel awful for you! I am sending all my prayers your way! Feel better soon!

Chon said...

You are not a complainer you have had a bloody terrible run lately and every time you have gone to urgent care or the doctors it has been for a legitimate reason. at the end of the day the only thing that matter is you and your baby. xxx

Samantha said...

Big hugs, Sarah.

Faith said...

Thinking of you, hun. Pregnancy can be so brutal, but those little babies are pretty darn tough:). hang in there...

Joys Truly said...

Sarah, I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I will definitely say a prayer that you feel better ASAP and that the baby is fine as well. Get some rest.

Rebecca said...

I'm glad to hear that you are getting this taken care of. Yes, all those medicines could have an adverse affect on the babies health but you dying of pneumonia could make things even worse I suspect. Just remember that your OB will know what is best for you and that they have most likely dealt with similar situations given the time of year.

Hope you can continue to breath easier with each breath. I won't tell you not to worry as that is futile and I'd do the same being in your situation.

Good luck.

Lonelily said...

I am thinking of you!!! I can't imagine how scary that must be. Hang in there! Tuesday isn't too far away!

mag said...

The hubs and I are both praying for you to get feeling better ASAP, and for the Tuesday appt. I am so sorry you are going through this, and if I could wiggle my nose and get you through the next few months, I would totally do it. Hang in there honey and don't think for a second that any of us believes you are a complainer. You are going through some really crappy stuff - we are here for you to lean on whenever you need it. *HUG*

ADSchill said...

You have a perfectly reasonable reason to be worried and sick of eveyrthing. All we want is to have a healthy and happy pregnancy and it seems that there is fear left and right.
Just focus on one thing at a time and ask all the questions you need to. I'm sorry you are having so much to deal with.
I'll be thinking of you.

Erica said...

so sorry to hear you are so ill. I do not consider you a complainer at all... like you said venting! I really hope you get well soon and will also be praying for nothing but good news at your appt tomorrow. HUGS!

Lindsey said...

I'll be praying for sure! I'm so sorry you're feeling so sick and that you have to feel fear on top of it. Try to remember that they limit very few drugs in the 3rd tri because they don't effect babies development at this time. Also if you need it, baby girl needs it too! I hope you feel better soon!!

kkasun said...

S so hard when you have a tough pregnancy. I am thinking of you and hoping for the best. I had constant trouble with mine and was on bedrest for 18 weeks of it (2 seperate times and issues) but the baby is perfect.
I believe yours will be too!!!
As a side note I had pretty bad ppd. My dr said often the more stressful the pregnancy the better chance you have of having that. So just be on the lookout for that after she is born, I hope that isn't the case for you though.
Feel better and soon!!!!

Shannon said...

Chin up punkin. I know this has to be so stressful....I can't imagine! Feel better and let me know if you need me to send you a care package! :)