Monday, April 18, 2011

A little bit discouraged. And A LOT of love.

I was feeling a bit discouraged after my RE appt this morning. One of my favorite nurses (AKA Nurse Awesome) came in to do my blood work. She is so friendly and so nice, I'm always so happy when I get her! Then she sent another nurse in to scan me. This is how they usually do it, two different people. And in walks my least favorite nurse. She's the one who made me feel silly for crying last year and there have just been other incidents where I just dont feel comfortable with her. She's not very friendly and doesn't let me in on what's going on with my body! Like today for instance, there was complete silence through the whole scan. Then she went back to her computer and was typing away, still nothing. So finally I'm concerned and I say " How does it look? Is everything ok?" And she says (in a tone that said " I basically hate my job") " Nothing is happening yet, we might up your dose after Wednesday's appt." So of course, Im worried...no progress at all???!! So I say to her "Should I be worried? Is that a bad sign?" And she says "No, its still early." But frankly, I don't believe the bitch. Yeah, I said it..she's a bitch. And I don't like her at all. This cycle doesnt seem to be coming along as nicely as the last injectible one and that's freaking me out. Tonight was my sixth shot. I feel like it's not a good sign if there are NO measurable follies yet :( But Im just going to hope for the best and pray that by wednesday something is happening. My husband and my friend from work think I should ask to not have that nurse anymore. But I don't like ruffling any feathers. But they are right, I shouldnt have to deal with that. This is my body, my money, my family I'm trying for here. I don't need any negative nurses bringing me down! But of course Im too nice and probably wont say anything :(

Im also freaking out because I don't have enough Bravelle. Which means getting money together to order more. I also still need to order my Crinone. My husband has to be away for work next wednesday into thursday and Im having a mini freak out that the IUI will need to be then! AHHHH!Ok, breathe Sarah. Everything will be ok :)

When I got home from work tonight, my fantastic husband had a pretty bouquet of flowers for me. Daisies (our wedding flower) and daffodils :) And the card with them read:

"Just wanted you to know how much it means to me that you put yourself through all this for our family. I love you!!"

I have the best husband ever :) I may not be lucky in baby makin but I am definitely lucky in LOVE :)

11 comments:

Jillington, a.k.a. the Polack said...

I would absolutely ask to not have that nurse again. I'd explain to a doctor who is part of the practice that you have had multiple negative experiences with her. They may not even know that she sucks so hard.

Josey said...

Ugh, people who don't like their jobs need to SWITCH JOBS - especially nurses!! Good lord, that's ridiculous.

I hope they explain more next time.

amiracle4us said...

What an oober sweet hubby!!! You better keep him around :)
As for the rude nurse, I agree with Josey, go get a new job. However in the meantime, you should not have to deal with it. You are spending too much money to be put in that situation. I understand it would be heard, especially with most clinics being relatively small...but stand up for yourself :)

Carlia said...

i agree that you should dump that nurse. sounds like that heffer (yeah, i called her a heffer) chose the wrong field.

you really do have an awesome husband! what a sweet gesture. it may be the hormones, but i just teared up reading that. :)

Moe said...

awwww this news does not make me happy. i agree. you shouldn't have that nurse anymore. it's totally not worth it - and you don't need any negativity or bad experiences at the place that is supposed to be helping you get pregnant. that's unacceptable. i know it's awkward...but i hope you say something. :)

L said...

I think your hubby is absolutely right, you should ask to not have that nurse again. IF is such a stressful experience on its own, you don't need her adding extra stress to the mix. I always think nurses are interesting they are either super nice and caring and wonderful or just awful, there doesn't seem to be any middle ground.

Jenny said...

dry nurses are never easy...I had one for my 6 week u/s and obviously that is something that every IVF woman is terrified of (will there be a yolk sac? will it be in the tubes? is there a heartbeat?)...she basically said nothing the whole time while I stared at my hubby trying to mind-meld with him that I was terrified. When she said "well the sac is in the right place but there's no heartbeat" I just started bawling my eyes out right there...only then did she "sort of" warm up and say "they often schedule these u/s too early...we'll see in a week" needless to say it was the longest week of my life and when I went back at 7 weeks she was like "what did I say to you last time?" I said "you told me there was no heartbeat" (clearly my crying fit hadn't stuck in her mind). She again said nothing for what seemed like forever and then turned the monitor to show me the little beating heart...I was so relieved and elated but part of me was upset that she wasn't talking me through it the whole time.
I guess my point is, try not to let her ruin your hopes.

Amanda said...

What a sweet note from your husband!

Sorry about that crap nurse...I'm in the same boat as you at my clinic. It's hard to say something though, because there aren't that many of them, and it would be awkward if I saw her again. I don't know...tough call!

Don't worry about your progess...you WILL get there, it's just a matter of time, and in the grand scheme of things, a few extra days isn't that big a deal, right?

I know how you feel though..when I was on the pump, I panicked when I ovulated 5 days later than the previous cycle..but my doc just explained that each cycle is different, and I just need to go with the flow.

Easier said than done, but try not to worry...it will happen soon!

RMCarter said...

I am just like you, Sarah. I don’t want to ruffle feathers or cause problems. But that also means people like us end up getting some bad treatment. :( Hopefully an opportunity arises where you feel safe enough to say something. The bosses should know this is how she treats patients (especially in a field where many people pay cash and can sometimes be more selective about which office the choose).

What a remarkable husband you have! He’s a keeper!

manymanymoons said...

Dying to know which one is awesome and who is the bitch. I'm sure I would agree!

Hope you're getting along ok and hanging in. Good luck at tomorrows appt.

cgd said...

If you can, i say dumb the nurse. You deserve more than this for sure. I tend to be slow starter when on injectibles and it often takes a bit for things to starting brewing in there, hoping this is the case for you. Can you freeze sperm for the IUI is your husband needs to be away? We have done this before as a back up.
Your husband sounds amazing!!! So weet.