First off, I realized that I am on cycle day 36! Wow, where is AF?? Took another test this morning, because I was feeling pretty crappy all night. Sadly, it was negative. I made the decision(where AF does come to town) that I want to start another medicated/monitored with this next cycle. I don't want to wait anymore. We took a short break, it didn't happen and now we just want to move on. We can't afford an injectible cycle right now, so I think we might do a clomid cycle, with a trigger shot and an IUI. It feels good to have a plan. And it feels good to be hopeful.
So for anyone that's interested in knowing how last night went with the psychic circle type thing, IT WENT AMAZING :) The psychics we met with were super cool chicks! I know there are a lot of people out there who don't believe in this stuff, but my friend and I DEFINITELY do :) It was such a good night and it felt more like a really special (and much needed) therapy session. We didn't end up doing the ritual blessing type thing, because they decided that when we do get pregnant they are going to come back and bless the babies. We talked a lot about meditation, diet, and taking our energy in a more positive direction. I really do need to have a different energy output towards infertility. And I'm going to try really hard. Things have not been great, and unhappy things have occurred, and I'm letting all that negative energy way me down and make it hard for any new life to want to grow within me. I told them about the box I have with the ultrasound picture and the baby mets stuff, along with other things. And they suggested I frame the ultrasound picture. Which, I am going to do. One of the psychics also got in touch with two very special women who were in my life. A great-grandmother and a very special aunt. And a few details she gave me about them, we're shocking, in a good way. She also mentioned that they both were showing this outpouring of love towards me. The whole process was just amazing to me. And I left there feeling good about things again...
My mom gave me a card a few weeks ago (after Nole died) and it was so cute that I wanted to share it with you all. The card had a sparkly fairy on the front with a magic wand. And it read..."If I could, I'd find a fairy Godmother with a magical wand and combat boots so that she could grant your wishes and kick the crap outta anything that tried to get in the way of your happiness."
But after last night, according to the psychic, I already have two :)