Sunday, May 8, 2011

Praying on Mother's Day

I have been praying a lot today. I even went to church this morning, which is a place I haven't been since July of last year I believe. My mom and step-dad sing in the choir and my aunt and my Nana were up visiting. So there was a crew with us at church, which was nice. Right as the service started a young couple walked in with a baby and sat a few rows ahead of us. My aunt leaned over and whispered, " It's a sign" :) Our church is beautiful, it's a historic landmark, and whenever I'm there I'm in awe of how beautiful it is. I just prayed so hard today that God has blessed us with a baby. During the very last prayer at the end of the service, my Nana reached over and grabbed my hand tightly and we both just prayed silently together. I seriously almost lost it. There are just so many people praying for us. We are not the only ones that want this so badly for us...

When we left the Sunday school kids were giving away potted plants (that they decorated) and my mom came over and handed me one and said " For the mama to be." Almost lost it then, too. :)

Today was such a significant day. It was Mother's Day of course, but it is May 8th which is the date of my mom's brain surgery back in 1996 and my great-aunt Rhodie's birthday. Two women I hold so dear to my heart. My aunt passed away years ago, but I know she's still with me everyday. I can just hear her bargaining with God for him to give us our baby.

I am pretty much the luckiest girl ever to have been blessed with my mom. She is my friend and my biggest supporter. And I really don't know where I would be in life without her. I get emotional just thinking about all she has done for us growing up. She was a single mom turned super mom. Every single year, when I'm standing in the card aisle picking out a mother's day card for her, I cry. Even the perfect card doesn't seem enough for a mother like her. I love you, Mom! Thank you so much for everything you do. I hope to make you a Nana this week :)

We had a busy weekend. Dinner at my mom's on Saturday and then church and a visit to my MIL's this afternoon. We got home and took a two hour nap! I've been so tired. I woke up from that nap with some cramping, and jumping to conclusions I all I wanted to do was stay in bed and cry, thinking that AF was coming. It's going to be a tough four days. One minute I want to take an HPT and just get it over with and then I feel like I can't and just need to wait it out.

I know Mother's Day can be an extra sad day for us girls in this blog community. But someday it will be our turn, someday we will all be Mothers and will look back on this journey and say, "You know what? It was all worth the wait and heartache." So Happy Mother's Day to you all!!!

On our way home from church, I saw something that really touched me. A little boy riding his bike with an "I love you, Mom" heart shaped balloon attached to the back. How stinkin cute is that?

7 comments:

manymanymoons said...

What a great post. I love how heartfelt your words are about your family. We have so much in common. I've been thinking a lot about you and praying that this is your cycle.

Baby Hopes said...

Such a beautiful post... Happy Mother's Day!

marg said...

Sarah, why bother buying a Mother's Day card---you can write them! Your words are amazing, any Mom would love to read this. My prayers are always with you!

RMCarter said...

I was praying with you today. :)

Happy Mother's Day!

Jennifer said...

whenever aunt edie squeezes my hand in church or anywhere else, it brings tears to my eyes.. i love that woman in a way i can not describe.. glad you guys had such a nice day, seems like a wonderful way to celebrate mamma to be day!!! <3

AJ said...

I came across your blog as I was just searching the web for if/pregnancy after loss blogs and your post really stood out because I spent most of yesterday praying as hard as I could that god would bless us with a baby as well. I'm going to pray this this is your cycle too. Happy Mother's Day!

Amanda said...

Aww, what a touching post. It sounds like you're surrounded by some amazing women, all who want this and will do everything they can (in heaven or on earth) to make it happen.

I'm so so hoping this is it for you...it's your turn!!