Friday, May 13, 2011

What the eff, Blogger?

I guess blogger has been down for the last two days. And apparently it got hungry and decided to eat/delete the last post I made on Thursday. For those of you who missed it, I got another BFN. Absolutely heartbroken about it. I'm taking the weekend to cry it out and get myself back together.

There's a new plan in place. We're not doing anymore treatments until I have surgery. Yup, I'm going to have a laporoscopy done. And I'm terrified of the surgery. We just can't take anymore heartbreak and we don't want to put anymore money and hope into treatments if there is something going on inside me. If there's something that can be fixed, I want to fix it. Right now I'm tenatively scheduled for surgery on June 24th because they are so booked. But Im going to try and see if I can get another dr to do it sooner. I really don't want to wait that long. After the surgery, when everything is checked and maybe "fixed" we want to do IVF. How will we afford it? Not sure just yet. But that is our plan. And it feels good to have a plan.

Thank you for all your support and kind comments! And thank you to my amazing friends and family IRL who go out of their way to show us love and support. We couldn't get through this without all you.

12 comments:

Faith said...

I'm so sorry, hun. I saw the post before blogger deleted it but it wouldn't let me comment. I am so sad with/for you.

I did the lap and had stage 2 endo. I got pregnant about 7 months later with just femara and intercourse, but miscarried. Then got pregnant again about 15 months after the lap and she stuck! I'm not sure if it was the lap, but I gotta think it helped!

hang in there, girl...thinking of you...

Marissa said...

I am so sorry. *hugs*

Jenny said...

I read your original post too...stupid blogger.

I'm so sad for you and I hate that this is happening...I mentioned it in my blog (hope that's ok...I didn't use your name though). I just hate how unfair it is that anyone has to go through infertility. We are amongst the strongest women out there!
I'm glad you are getting a lap...and I guess because I'm a Canadian, June 24th seems like a pretty early appt to me...I was supposed to wait 6 months! Luckily I really pushed my doc and told him the pain was so bad it was interfering not only with my fertility but my ability to function...so he bumped me waaay up and I ended up only waiting a week...but this is very rare up here...basically he wanted to eliminate the possibility that I had cancer.
I know the surgery is scary...i was very scared. But, I like that it made me feel like I was doing something proactive. Even though mine didn't help me get pregnant, at least it confirmed to me that I had endo (as I always suspected since the age of 18) and that I could put a reason to my infertility...I truly hope you get some answers and feel free to ask me about the surgery. It's really not soo bad. (((hugs)))

Chon said...

Oh it just sucks major balls. With the lap don't be scared. It is a little painful afterwards but you will be back to normal in no time and it really is the best way to see if there are any internal issues. You never know you might be perfect - you are in our eyes anyway! Just take some time out for yourself until the lap and try and remember some fun non TTC related things. That was my March & April....remembering I am human.

beauty and insanity wrapped into one said...

hang in there.... glad to know that youre thinking and moving ahead.. i know the idea of surgery and the lap suck, but i had it done, and if it makes you feel any better, the surgery takes less time that it does for the anesthesia to wear off ( i think the whole procedure was 20 mins).... and the recovery was pretty easy... sending you lots of love and support!! <3

Anonymous said...

Hi! I haven'nt caught up on your blog in a bit, so I just caught up, I am so sorry and am thinking of you. Please let me know if there is something I can do, but for now...hugs and prayers I am sending your way.

Danielle M

JamieMoore said...

I am sorry to hear the news. But your plan sounds great! And plans are always good! have a good weekend...stay strong!

Liz said...

I am sorry this round didn't work for you. I have had 2 laparoscopy surgeries and can answer any questions if you have them. It really isn't bad. And think, you'll always have a physical scar to remind you of all of the crap you went through.

I think 2 IUI's is a goof idea. Hopefully it helps to catch ovulation better.

BTW, I will be in town the first weekend of June, not sure if you are free.

RMCarter said...

Dumb blogger kept me from seeing your post! I am so, so sorry. I think you have a great plan and I am hopeful your journey is close to its happy ending. Big hugs!!

Amanda said...

Of all the posts to delete, why did blogger have to make you say 'it's a BFN' again?! That's mean.

Your plan sounds good to me! Hopefully you can get that surgery sooner..and it will provide the answer you are looking for...

So sorry again xo

Josey said...

Oh, I'm so sorry Sarah. :( I hope that the lap gets things sorted out for you. This whole journey is so damn hard.

Good Timing said...

I read your BFN post too. Booooo! :(
I think the lap is a great idea, I just had one done in the middle of March and they found level II endo and a polyp, so you just never know. I also had a hysteroscopy done and I would highly recommend getting both of them done at the same time. Two birds, one stone! Thinking of you and wishing you well with the surgery!