After weighing the pros and cons and taking all the advice into consideration, I realized that this is a BIG deal. IVF, I mean. There's a lot going on here. Emotionally, physically and financially. If the doctor believes this is the best (and safest) way to proceed, then I am going to do what he tells me to do. And if that means waiting 19 more days before starting lupron and then having to wait another week or three to start stims, so be it. Yes, I am totally sad that I am not starting meds tomorrow. Yes, I feel like it's always SOMETHING. Yes, we are pretty pissed that this wasn't explained clearly to us. Yes, we don't understand why we couldn't have started lupron on this last day 21 so we could have started stims tomorrow....
Yes, IT SUCKS. :(
However, the ball is rolling. We are on our way. There's a detour, but eventually we will get there. After 3 1/2 years of all this heartache, I guess I can do another month of waiting....
I have an appointment tomorrow morning at the RE's office. We'll see how it goes. I feel like I'm going to walk up to the reception desk and the girl is going to hit a secret button under the desk labeled "Crazie in da house." Maybe I'm just being self-conscious, but I feel like every time I call there or have an issue, there are like " Ohhhh God, it's HER again." haha
Oh-so about my bear story from yesterday morning (if anyone cares that is)...
It was 6:30 am and I was pulling out of the driveway and I look ahead and see this blur of something furry and big! "Wow that's a big dog" I said to myself. Then I took another look as the car got closer. It's not a big dog. IT'S A BIG BEAR. Holy crap. It just slowly walked right in front of my car and then moved a little faster up into a big apartment complex. I was in total shock. We don't exactly live in a place where bears just roam around. I've never see a bear outside of a zoo or movie screen. I called 911 and reported it, because the bear was in a busy area where there are lots of children. I felt sort of sorry for the bear, obviously it's hungry or disoriented or both! But how WEIRD is that. My mom joked around saying that maybe I should look up what it means if a bear crosses your path. And I'm not ashamed to say that I actually did google it :) I found a couple of Native American sites that said something about a bear being a sign of motherhood and protection. There were a few other interesting articles about the symbolism of a bear...
So that was my Wednesday morning. What's with me and wildlife lately? Skunks and now bears!
I'll let you know how my appointment goes tomorrow. Maybe my doctor will be doubled over in laughter, " Oh that whole Lupron thing? I was joking. Meds start tonight!"
Doubtful.
6 comments:
Glad you were able to make a decision you feel good about. Hopefully the waiting will make this cycle a huge success.
Better safe than sorry. You don't want to give yourself any reason to look back and say 'what if', not with the price tag of IVF! I am sorry it was not clearly explained and the wait is longer....waiting SUCKS!
I'm so glad that you were able to come to a decision you feel good about. It's still hard, and it still completely blows. I truly understand (I've been handed the "start... oops, no wait!" card more than once). I wouldn't worry about thoughts rolling around at the clinic though. I've had my share of crazy calls and encounters - I think we all have!
Holy sweetness with the bear! Poor thing! We had a bear alert earlier this year, which was extremely unexpected since we're in a fairly urban area. Poor things!
Hope your luck with wildlife improves soon but more importantly, that crossing of paths with an unexpected bear is a wonderful sign!
I'm sorry this is turning out how you had hoped, but I think you are right to go with your doctor's gut feelings. A bear, wow! Good thing you were in your car and not walking to get your mail or something.
I really admire your patience. It's hard to let go of control in this IF world, so what you are doing is a huge deal! I agree, following your doctor is probably the best thing you can do. In the grand scheme of things, what does it matter if your due date is 9 months from now or 10 months? (because you WILL have a due date after this!)
CRAZY about the bear! I love what it stands for. You know I totally would have googled it too :)
So glad you have a decision! I didn't comment because I was clueless, but I read some of your comments and I was leaning in that direction, too. It's SO hard when you get your heart and mind ready for a big step...and then it gets delayed. You kind of have to re-group. Good for you for doing so!
And, um, wow....a bear. That is AMAZING! It is like a once in a lifetime experience to see a bear like that! I get all excited every time I see wildlife (as long as I'm not in danger, lol!). I saw a coyote cross the road here in AZ and was so thrilled. I find the world out there so fascinating. And it seems this bear might have been a sign for you:)...
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