Dear Baby,
It's been a little over two months now, and I'm still not okay. I think about you all the time. Some days I am strong, but mostly I am wishing you never had to leave us. I want you to know that those 7 days that I knew I was pregnant with you, were the happiest days of my life. You were a dream come true and we loved you more than I can even describe. My heart is broken, until you come back to us someday. We'll be waiting, sweet little bean.
Love,
Mommy and Daddy
"And I promise you kid I'll give so much more than I get. I just haven't met you yet." ~Michael Buble
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Carter Anthony
Samantha Roselyn
Hi, I'm Sarah. And this handsome guy in the picture with me is my husband Matt. Infertility is a b****. But together, we got through it. And now everything's turning up roses. Samantha Roselyn, to be exact! :) And on May 14, 2014 we welcomed our son Carter!!! So blessed!
A blog adventure about beggin' for baby to bringin' up baby
Carter
Our Handsome Boy
Carter Anthony
Our Sweet Girl
Samantha Roselyn
Currently...
Lovin' on our miracle baby girl! Conceived through IVF and born at 32 weeks 5 days. Samantha Roselyn born March 8th 2012 at 10:51 am 3lbs 11 oz 16 inches via emergency c-section. After 27 days in the NICU, she's home!! Dreams. Do. Come. True. And now...a surprise pregnancy with baby #2! A baby boy! Due in May!
The Wanna-be (turned for realz) Mom & Dad
Hi, I'm Sarah. And this handsome guy in the picture with me is my husband Matt. Infertility is a b****. But together, we got through it. And now everything's turning up roses. Samantha Roselyn, to be exact! :) And on May 14, 2014 we welcomed our son Carter!!! So blessed!
Don't worry, this isn't a creepy cult. I don't even like Kool-aid.
So far...
36 year old who struggled with infertility for four years. Finally conceived our miracle baby girl via IVF! And we welcomed our "surprise" baby boy in 2014!
-Starting TTC in 2008 -Metformin -HSG (Ouch...but clear) -4 rounds of Clomid all BFN's -2 round Femara, BFN -Surprise (natural) BFP! December 2009. Miscarried :( -Start at RE (May 2010) -S/A (great!) -Clomid, trigger, Crinone and IUI #1 (BFN) -Injectibles (Bravelle, Lupron, Trigger, Crinone) IUI #2 (BFN) -Jan 2011 150mg of Clomid with timed intercourse (BFN) -Found out my thyroid levels are elevated. RE starts me on Levothyroxine. -Colonoscopy in January to rule out Crohns Disease-Feb 2011 (break from treatment) BFN Requested Adoption information... -March 2011 (No medication, no monitoring, OPK's and hope!) -April 2011 Hope didn't really work out this month. BFN on my birthday. April 13th 2011, start second injectible cycle with third IUI!! Fingers crossed!
April 28th 2011-IUI #3 complete! Beta day May 12th...
BFN :( New plan: Scheduled for Lap Surgery...then maybe IVF...
Lap surgery pre-admission testing and consult June 15th!
Lap/Hyst surgery scheduled for June 21st...
Surgery complete! Doctor found stage one endo and removed it. Uterus and tubes looked good...
6.24.11- "Seed is planted." Receive random phone call about the possible adoption of twin baby girls. Um, what?!
8.24.11 Beta #2 224.5 :( ??
April 28th 2011-IUI #3 complete! Beta day May 12th...
BFN :( New plan: Scheduled for Lap Surgery...then maybe IVF...
Lap surgery pre-admission testing and consult June 15th!
Lap/Hyst surgery scheduled for June 21st...
Surgery complete! Doctor found stage one endo and removed it. Uterus and tubes looked good...
6.24.11- "Seed is planted." Receive random phone call about the possible adoption of twin baby girls. Um, what?!
7.22.11 IVF starts!!! HFS.
8.6.11 Egg retrieval...16 eggs!!!!
8.7.11 Fertilization report. Out of 16 eggs retrieved, 15 were mature, and 12 fertilized!!!
8.6.11 Egg retrieval...16 eggs!!!!
8.7.11 Fertilization report. Out of 16 eggs retrieved, 15 were mature, and 12 fertilized!!!
8.9.11 Day 3 check of embabies- 14 fertilized, not 12!! :) And they are all dividing. Crossing my fingers...
8.11.11 5 day Embryo Transfer. Only 7 Embryos made it to transfer. PUPO with three little babes!! And we froze four. HFS! :) Beta day is August 22nd...
8.22.11 We're PREGNANT!!! Beta #1 142.6
8.24.11 Beta #2 224.5 :( ??
8.29.11 Beta #3 2010!!! :) u/s shows one gestational sac. Our Lil' Miracle...
8.31.11 Emergency appointment due to cramping and light bleeding :( Ultrasound showed the a gest sac and yolk sac! It had grown since Monday. Beta #4... 3,825.6.
8.31.11 Emergency appointment due to cramping and light bleeding :( Ultrasound showed the a gest sac and yolk sac! It had grown since Monday. Beta #4... 3,825.6.
9.6.11 u/s shows the flicker of a heartbeat on our Lil'Miracle!! And....SURPRISE! There's a another miracle growing! TWINS! :)
9.13.11 (7wks3dys) u/s shows the second baby stopped growing :( And they found a subchorionic hematoma. Baby #1 looks great and is growing! Got to hear the heart beat!! :)
9.20.11 (8wks3days) Got the boot from the RE. We've graduated! First OB appt Oct 10th
9.13.11 (7wks3dys) u/s shows the second baby stopped growing :( And they found a subchorionic hematoma. Baby #1 looks great and is growing! Got to hear the heart beat!! :)
9.20.11 (8wks3days) Got the boot from the RE. We've graduated! First OB appt Oct 10th
9.27.11 (9wks3days) Emergency appt at OB because of pain/discomfort. Baby is okay! :)
10.10.11 (11 wks2days) OB appt. Baby looks great! :)
10.10.11 (11 wks2days) OB appt. Baby looks great! :)
11.3.11 (14 weeks5days) Emergency appt at OB because of stomach pain. Heard baby's heartbeat on doppler (155-160 bpm!). Diagnosis: Digestive issues combined with Round ligament pain.
11.7.11 OB appt. Blood pressure is a little high.
11.14.11 OB appt. Blood pressure back down. Pap normal. Thyroid stable.
12.5.11 BIG ultrasound :) NOPE, didn't happen. Appt cancelled. Thanks to a lot of traffic and an OB office who didn't want to give us a break.
12.6.11 BIG ultrasound..take two? :) It's a BABY GIRL!!!!! :)
1.4.12 OB check up. Baby girl is doing great. HB 140-150. Active! BP good...
1.24.12 Emergency appt with specialist. Baby is measuring behind. Possibility of down syndrome, dwarfism or that she's just going to be a little peanut. Scared and praying.
2.2.12 Appt w/ pulmonary specialist
2.4.12 BABY SHOWER :)
2.6.12 Maternity Tour at hospital
2.7.12 Appt with Endocrinologist & Follow up appt w/pulmonary specialist
2.15.12 Glucose Test (BFF=Big Fat Fail!) :( Level was 154
2.20.12 3 hour glucose test (Big Fat Fail)
2.21.12 Growth scan #2 with MFM (Baby is just a peanut! Doctor confirmed that he didn't see any signs of downs or dwarfism! And she is growing on her curve! Happy news!)
2.22.12 Rhogam Shot & Last appt at old OB's office
2.28.12 Met with GD doctor & nutritionist (start diabetic "diet" and testing blood sugar 4 times a day)
3.6.12 Maternity Tour at new hospital (changed delivery hospitals)
3.7.12 First appt with new OB. Admitted to the hospital straight from appt for pre-eclampsia. Scared...
3.8.12 Woke up in the morning at the hospital and my water breaks around 8:40 am. Terrified! Chaos begins. Baby born at 10:51 am via emergency c-section. She was born at 32 weeks 5 days weighing 3lbs 11oz 16 inches long. Sent to NICU...
4.3.12 After a 27 day stay in the NICU, our precious baby girl is home! :)
9.17.13 Surprise "Natural" pregnancy! Baby #2 on the way!
9.18.13 1st beta 48.2
9.20.13 2nd beta 142.6
9.25.13 3rd beta 1685.5
12.16.13 It's a BOY :)
5.14.14 Our son has arrived! Carter Anthony was born at 38 weeks at 11:09 am via c-section. 7lbs 3oz 18 inches!!
9.25.13 3rd beta 1685.5
12.16.13 It's a BOY :)
5.14.14 Our son has arrived! Carter Anthony was born at 38 weeks at 11:09 am via c-section. 7lbs 3oz 18 inches!!
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1 comment:
Sarah,
I am so sorry for your loss. I know how difficult it is to grieve a child you never got to hold. We lost our little Sprinkle at 12 weeks and had to have a D&C. Your letter to your sweet babe is beautiful. I remember writing Sprinkle a letter after we lost her and mourned our loss for a long time. Take the time to be sad and lean on each other. I wish you the best of luck. Hugs and happy preggo vibes to you.
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