A Valued Family

That is the title of last night's Brothers & Sisters episode. I am a giant open wound. Healing but still pretty sore. And TV lately has been wonderful at pouring salt in. Brothers & Sisters is one of my favorite shows, maybe even THE favorite. For those of you who watch it, know that Justin & Rebecca had a miscarriage. I know they are just acting, but wow, the pain was so raw, so real. I felt every emotion with them. We were out of tissues, so I had a roll of toilet paper with me through the rest of the show...

Even though it's hard to watch, I'm glad the TV world has been touching on this stuff. It's bringing more awareness to the world of infertility and what so many women and men go through. I write in this blog for two reasons. Actually, three. One, it's theraputic for me to write/vent about my experiences and feelings on IF. Two, I want to help in raising IF awareness. And three, I want to document my journey so that when I have that little baby in my arms someday, I can see how far I've come. I've invited some of my family and friends to share in my blog. In a way it makes me feel naked, because my life..my feelings..my struggles are on here for everyone to see. But in a way it's also freeing. This is what I'm going through, and this is my space to put down on paper (well, screen)my feelings. Of course, sometimes I feel weird that people reading may think
"Stop whining about fertility already." Or " It's just a baby, go live your life" or my favorite " Just relax, it will happen." If anyone feels any of things, I respectfully ask that you stop reading my blog. Because there are going to be a lot of posts on here that may seem negative, but it's just me feeling what I'm feeling. I have to say a big thank you to everyone who has sent me such sweet messages in the past few days. The love and support is just overwhelming :)

I bought a mini rose plant today for the house. Yellow roses. To honor all my friendships, old and new, near and far, the fertile and the infertile...

Now to the important stuff: Watching that ho, Roslyn, lie on the Bachelor. Maybe I'll eat some oreos too.