Friday, July 29, 2011

Note to self

Don't watch Marley & Me. Especially when you're all jacked up on hormones!

I've seen Marley & Me plenty of times. Such a good movie and such a sad movie. Our golden retriever, Nole, was tragically hit and killed by a car this past January. The worst night of my life, besides the miscarriage. He was my baby and we loved him so so much. I miss him so much and I feel him with me everyday. I talk to him when it's been a rough day. He was only three years old. He was supposed to grow up with our children. We have a little "shrine" in our living room for Nole. Some people might find that creepy, but we find it comforting. We have his ashes in an ern and a card with his paw print and some of his fur. We also have a Christmas ornament leaned up against with his picture on it. As well as a small garden statue of an angel puppy with wings. We haven't buried his ashes yet, and I'm not sure what that means. I guess we just like having him close here with us...

I was waiting to watch "The Proposal" and "Marley & Me" just happened to be wrapping up. All the sudden, I'm sobbing! Like can't catch my breath, tears streaming down, all out sobfest! Definitely, ranks up there on the ugly cry face list. Damn hormones! And then I starting laughing. Sobbing and then laughing at myself. I really miss Nole so much. He was such a good boy.

My mom is helping us with a loan for this IVF (God Bless her!) and we are paying her back. The credit union she uses gave her five blank checks. On each check was a different design. Guess which one popped out at us? The check with the golden retriever on it. Looked just like Nole. And we chose to use that one for our down payment. I think it was definitely a sign that Noley is here with us during this process :)

You know I love me some signs.


5 comments:

Marissa said...

Pets are the best.

I still get choked up over the loss of our old spaniel, nearly 2 years ago. And just today I came home and couldn't find one of our cats, and started having a full-on panic attack. Of course, he was just wedged between the couch and the wall, looking up at me all "what" when I did find him...

Anyway, I'm so glad your Nole is part of this journey, in his own way.

Faith said...

First, so glad your follies are growing! Yay! Second, yeah, that's a sad movie. And even more so for us since we lost our sweet boy, King, last November. He was only 5. He got very sick, very fast. It came out of nowhere it seemed at the time, but looking back, the signs were there. We spread his ashes on the mountain in the river where he loved to play. I kept some of his ashes just to have - like you said, I wanted him close. He was supposed to grow up with our kids, too. So sorry about the loss of your precious Nole...he is with you as you take this journey...

Chon said...

omg i was just about to write a post on marley and me but about the book not the movie (love love love the movie)

Good Timing said...

I haven't watched Marley and Me, I am still traumatized by Where the Red Fern Grows! Stories and movies about animals just make me an emotional wreck! I love the sign on the check, that is awesome! :) And YAY that your follies are growing. So hopeful for you. xoxo

Lauren said...

Nole was such a good dog, I'm glad you still feel him with you . Marley and Me always makes me cry too!!

I'm so happy to hear that things are growing!!!!