Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Dependence

It's really hard for me to be dependent on people sometimes. I don't like the feeling of not being able to take care of something myself. I know when to ask for help, but it's never been easy for me to do so. I'm a do-er. If the apartment needs me to be cleaned, I just do it. If we have laundry to be done, I'll just do it. If we need groceries, I'll go get them. Of course, sometimes my husband does some of these things too. But generally, it works out that I handle those things since he working three jobs right now. And I like to do those things. I like to keep things clean, keep the fridge full and keep our clothes clean. Now that I'm home for 6 weeks or so and can only do "light duty" things, I'm struggling with the thought of having to be more dependant on everyone. Our washer and dryer is two flights down, so carrying heavy baskets of laundry up and down the stairs is not happening. Also, carrying heavy bags of groceries from the car up the stairs can't happen either. My husband has been a big help with the laundry, but it's hard. I'm home and I could be finishing up the other loads of laundry we have to do, but I can't. I know I need to forget about laundry and cleaning right now and just relax and focus on growing these babies! But it's so hard. I can only relax for so long before I feel like I have to get up and get something done. And I may have a touch of OCD or something. So I think I'm going to make a list of things I want to get done in the next month and a half. Maybe so I can take my focus off what I can't do and put it more towards what I can do...

Here's my list so far (and in no particular order)...

1) Have our wedding pictures (finally) printed so we can frame some more AND put together a wedding album. Now that we have babies on the way, it would be nice to have a wedding album done before the baby albums...

2) Figure out how to use my Kindle. Yeah, I know. It's easy. But for some reason I can't get it registered because of some password problem with our wi-fi and it just seems overwhelming at the moment. I want to read a few good books! Suggestions are welcome.

3) Go visit my Nana and have lunch with her.

4) Get our bills organized and set up a budget. With me only getting 60% of my pay, it's going to be rough for awhile...

5) Catch up on some movies I've been wanting to see. Might try Red Box because I heard it's really cheap.

6) Start going through our spare bedroom (future nursery). It's a mess. And I know it's super early, but I have the urge to purge everything in it. I want a blank empty canvas to start filling with everythingbaby.

7) I want to start using our crock pot and eating better. I'm already constantly hungry early in this pregnancy, so I'm eating us out of house and home.

8) And last but not least, I want to try and nap a lot, grow this babes and relax. I need to keep praying and keep positive thoughts and live in "my happy place."

**Totally random and having nothing to do with this post, but has anyone heard from Carlia from The Stork Drop Zone?? Might sound weird, but I'm worried about her. She hasn't posted in a long time. I've sent her an email a few times, but haven't heard back. Just thought I'd ask! :) **


11 comments:

Josey said...

Way to focus on what you CAN do. That's what is best for your baby!

Haven't heard a thing from Carlia...yikes, it's been 6+ weeks huh?? I hope she's okay.

A m a n d a said...

I would go crazy too, but your list sounds like a perfect distraction.

I haven't heard from her. Now I'm worried too!

Oak said...

Hooray for two babies! I read that in the middle of the night on my iPod but wasn't able to comment! :) And I hear you on not being able to ask for help. My husband always says he's going to come home some day soon and find me trapped underneath a dresser that I tried to move all by myself. Its tough to get over that!

Rod and Alex - aka: "Rolex" said...

Sounds like you've got a great plan! You're doing great!

sharyn said...

Get used to asking for and accepting help, and remember that most people who offer assistance really mean it and really want to help you out.

Chon said...

tttttttttttttttttwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnssssssssssssssssssssssss

OMG that is amazing! Bloody stoked for you!

Jenny said...

I think napping should be at the top of the list!!! I let DH help as much as he could without feeling guilty. He was working crazy hours and even changed jobs part way through...but he understood that I was carrying his child and that it made him feel better knowing I was doing as little as possible.

Mrs. Pancakes said...

that's a pretty good list...im sure you can get it done! it's a great thing when the hubby is willing to help! i don't know Carlia but i hope she is ok!

Mrs. Pancakes said...

oh by the way..congrats on reaching 100 followers! im her:-)

L said...

This looks like a great list - you'll be productive, but also relaxing :)

I love redbox, it's super easy to check out and now you can even reserve online and just stop by to pick up your DVD.

Beeker's Mom said...

For someone so independent, asking for help and depending on others is SO difficult. That is exactly what happened to me when I ended up in the hospital. I used it as a lesson to realize that it's okay that I can't do everything. Relax and grow those little babies! :)