Especially because earlier in the week my boobs hurt so bad. I could barely lay on my stomach, and suddenly after all this bleeding drama, they don't hurt anymore. Something new to worry about. I just don't see how it could go from hurting so bad to not at all. I could pee on a stick to see how light or dark the line is but I'm way too scared. I almost don't want to know. We have our next appointment early Tuesday morning and we are hoping the u/s looks good and that my beta goes up.
I do not want to lose this baby. And we will do whatever we can to keep it safe ad keep it growing. Being on bed rest the last two days kind of has me going stir crazy, especially because it's beautiful out. But like I said Ill do whatever it takes. My mom came by yesterday and brought me some treats and kept me company for awhile. I seriously don't know what I'd do without my husband and my mom. I am a lucky girl.
I'm not sure what's going to happen at work. They may have to move me to another classroom where there would be less lifting. My doctor basically has me on light duty through my first trimester. And if there aren't options at work, I might have to take a disability leave. Which I really don't want to do. Yes, I'd be less stressed and there would be less stress on my body, but it's only 60% of your pay. So changing classrooms or going a disability are not ideal, but it is what it is.
My mom was saying yesterday that she didn't have even have ONE ultrasound when she was pregnant. This was back in the late 70's early 80's. I was in shock. She had one blood test to confirm the pregnancy and then it was " See ya, hope you have a great 9 mths." Just shocking to me after our weekly ultrasounds and blood work and constant worrying. I kind of wish it was 1979 so I could just be blissfully happy that I'm pregnant and not have to worry about the growth of the embryo or that my beta numbers rise.
I just want to hear a heartbeat by 8 weeks and then I'll be able to breathe a little. I know things can still happen, but that will be a huge milestone for us and I just know I'll be able to ease up on the constant worry. At least I will force myself to.
Thanks for all your comments and prayers. Please keep 'em coming :)