Friday, September 2, 2011

Thankful.

I'm happy to report that the bleeding has stopped. I'm almost afraid to type it or say it out loud in fear that it will come back. Some cramping is still there, but definitely better. The past couple days have been so scary. It wasn't just spotting, it was light bleeding and cramping. Didn't pass any tissue which is good. But I am beyond thankful that it has stopped and I hope this was just a little hiccup. I am constantly praying and trying to remind myself of all the positive things, but it's really hard.

Especially because earlier in the week my boobs hurt so bad. I could barely lay on my stomach, and suddenly after all this bleeding drama, they don't hurt anymore. Something new to worry about. I just don't see how it could go from hurting so bad to not at all. I could pee on a stick to see how light or dark the line is but I'm way too scared. I almost don't want to know. We have our next appointment early Tuesday morning and we are hoping the u/s looks good and that my beta goes up.

I do not want to lose this baby. And we will do whatever we can to keep it safe ad keep it growing. Being on bed rest the last two days kind of has me going stir crazy, especially because it's beautiful out. But like I said Ill do whatever it takes. My mom came by yesterday and brought me some treats and kept me company for awhile. I seriously don't know what I'd do without my husband and my mom. I am a lucky girl.

I'm not sure what's going to happen at work. They may have to move me to another classroom where there would be less lifting. My doctor basically has me on light duty through my first trimester. And if there aren't options at work, I might have to take a disability leave. Which I really don't want to do. Yes, I'd be less stressed and there would be less stress on my body, but it's only 60% of your pay. So changing classrooms or going a disability are not ideal, but it is what it is.

My mom was saying yesterday that she didn't have even have ONE ultrasound when she was pregnant. This was back in the late 70's early 80's. I was in shock. She had one blood test to confirm the pregnancy and then it was " See ya, hope you have a great 9 mths." Just shocking to me after our weekly ultrasounds and blood work and constant worrying. I kind of wish it was 1979 so I could just be blissfully happy that I'm pregnant and not have to worry about the growth of the embryo or that my beta numbers rise.

I just want to hear a heartbeat by 8 weeks and then I'll be able to breathe a little. I know things can still happen, but that will be a huge milestone for us and I just know I'll be able to ease up on the constant worry. At least I will force myself to.

Thanks for all your comments and prayers. Please keep 'em coming :)

12 comments:

Jenny said...

most normal fertile women are in total shock at how many u/s and blood tests I had done. Most go to the doc to pee on a stick and prove they are pregnant...wait until nearly 12 weeks to hear a heart beat with the doppler and then have their 20 week u/s...after that it's nothing until delivery day. Knowing me I still would have worried like crazy even if it did happen naturally with no infertility experiences.
I know the salary cut may seem hard but if it was me I'd take it. Trust me when I tell you teaching while pregnant is hard enough for a normal woman...for gals like us who worry constantly it's hell. I don't how old your students are but I don't think there is any ideal age group...constantly bending over desks and standing all day will only make you worry...and if you are home you will have less expenses anyway...just think about it. I was off until 10 weeks and I don't regret it one bit.
P.S. there is NO RUSH to send the package...you focus on that little bean in there...that's far more important to me :)

Ruth said...

So happy the bleeding stopped. Praying that your little bean sticks tight! I know what you mean about the work thing: I have been trying to get my classroom ready (the kids start on the 12th) and feel like I can't do anything due to fear of lifting or too much physical activity. Hang in there. Can't wait to hear how your u/s goes on Tuesday

Marissa said...

I really hope Lil Miracle is doing well in there, and just felt like giving you a scare. FWIW, I spotted/bled until a week ago with this pregnancy, so it's not always a sign of doom. (But it's still scary.)

I hope you're able to come to a happy compromise at work!

Moe said...

Your due date is my brother's birthday. That's the day I became a big sister. Extra special day to me...so obvs your baby is going to be on my mind even more now. :)

Does laying outside in a lawn chair count as bed rest? If so...that's where you'd find me. hehe.

Beeker's Mom said...

I'm so glad that the bleeding has stopped. I hope that you figure everything out work-wise. I have faith that it will work out for you!!! I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Josey said...

I'm so glad to hear the bleeding has stopped!!

Try not to worry so much about symptoms or the lack thereof - they change constantly throughout pregnancy, AND they are different for everyone, so they're really not a good indicator of a damn thing and not worry worrying over.

Joys Truly said...

You are doing great and have a very good attitude. Cannot wait to see your ultrasound pic. Take it easy and have a great weekend.

A m a n d a said...

THANK GOD! So happy that things are looking up right now. Hopefully the weekend passes quickly and you will have more good news on Tuesday.

I think you should spoil yourself this weekend. You deserve it :)

amiracle4us said...

Glad the bed rest is working :) Rest up and have some weekend pampering!

Candice said...

Glad its stopped! Do whatever you feel is best. You're a mama, so you will know what is best for you and your little bean :)

ADSchill said...

That is very good news. I am so happy to hear things seem to be righting themselves somewhat.

Keeping you in my thoughts!

Lala said...

I bled at six weeks. And then again at eight- and my symptoms disappeared, and I freaked out. I was so scared. But everything was fine- and they never found a reason for the bleeding. I think the doctor told me it was probably from sex, but it was hard to tell.