Hold on tight...

This experience has been such a roller coaster. From finding out we're pregnant, to seeing the baby on the u/s, to a bleeding scare, to finding out there was twins! Today was our 7wk3days ultrasound and I guess I'll start with the bad news first....

The second baby stopped growing:( I am so very sad. I knew this was a possibility, but I really wasn't thinking it would happen. They also found a subchorionic hematoma. They said it it looks "grainy" which means my uterus is trying to absorb it, but that I could experience some bleeding or none at all. Of course, I asked if this will hurt the baby, they said "No." But I don't necessarily believe that. Everything I've researched on it (so far) says it can increase the risk for miscarriage. Great.

The good news, no the great news, is that the first baby (our Lil' Miracle!) is growing and still going strong! We even got to hear the heartbeat today which was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. He or she also has a little body forming, a big ole head and eye sockets I think? It was pretty cool to see. It was a beautiful sight amongst the ugly hematoma and our sad little twin that didn't make it :(

I left the doctor's office with mixed emotions. Happy and grateful to have one miracle growing, but unbelievably sad that the other baby stopped growing and that now there is a hematoma threatening my baby. In the past week we had fallen in love with these babies and it's really hard to readjust my mind and heart to the fact that the twin is gone...

We know you were there baby #2, we know you were trying so hard to grow and we will always love you...

I'm worried because my blood pressure and heart rate was high. Even before the u/s started!! I get it, God, I get the message. I know this pregnancy is not going to be easy. 7 weeks in and it's already been such a roller coaster.

We're just gonna have to hold on tight...

We are so blessed and grateful to have one miracle going strong. I just pray that the hematoma goes away and leaves my baby alone! Please, God, begging here...

After my appointment, Matt had to go to work but I decided to run into Target. I was really sad but I forced myself to go to the baby section and buy something. Anything. Something to remind myself that we still have one perfect miracle growing. Even though it caused me a bit of anxiety roaming through the baby section (not sure when that will stop!) I did end up getting a little yellow ducky onesie....

The Lady Antebellum song I posted, I love. My husband and I almost chose it as our wedding song. It's a song about holding onto each other through the ups and downs and realizing all the good things you have in life.

We've already had our fair share of ups and downs, but we are so thankful for all the "good." We have each other and we have one Lil' Miracle growing...