Thursday, March 18, 2010

Dear Body, I hate you.

Ok, so maybe that's a little harsh. Body, I don't hate you, I'm just frustrated with you I guess. Let me take a moment to explain why. I've been sick so much this past winter, I can't seem to catch a break, and then today I was blessed with a full blown cold. I must have sneezed at least 100 times today and as I type this, I'm breathing into a neb treatment tube. The "at" symbol and the letter "A" key on the laptop have been acting funky. And I'm pretty sure it's from condensation dripping down from the neb. Nice, Sarah. So, besides me being quite sick (oh, the letter "Q" key is goin now, too) the past few months, I also had to reschedule my fertility work-up appt to next Friday, thanks to a lovely lady with the initials AF. She won't go away, and apparently because of the testing they were going to do, she has to be on vacation. Now, I have to wait another week. Thanks for that, Body. I'm also pretty frustrated with you because you won't ovulate enough. Twice or so in almost two years, is just not cool. And even though you came through for us this past fall, you didn't hang onto our little bean. Which in turn set me into a "gonna be sad for a long long time" mode. What can we do for you? What do you need? Even with meds, you've let me down. I even lost close to 20 pounds in Hawaii, and you still didn't meet me halfway. I know I've gained a lot of it back, but I'm gonna work on it. I take vitamins, I'm keeping Tropicana OJ in business, and I love fruits and vegetables. I'm trying to be nice to you. Maybe you are frustrated with me too. Yes, I could use some more exercise and less stress. But now that Spring is here, we are going to be more active! I promise you that. So, please Body, help a girl out. Give me a break from being sick. Give me some energy and hope back. And please, give us our bean back. Which means you need to ovulate like the mother-of-all-ovulators.

But even after all of that, I want to thank you Body. For keeping me alive. For keeping my heart beating, my lungs working and my brain functioning. Well, most of the time, with the last two :) I know you work hard everyday, and without much rest in between. You allow me to love and enjoy all the wonderful things and people I do have in my life...

It's just you and me, Body. We can do this...

2 comments:

Amber said...

Incredible post. I don't even know how I would add anything to that. You said it all perfectly.

wait, what? said...

It's a love/hate thing with our bodies, I know! But we just have to keep hoping that our bodies come through for us.