Acceptance.

Hi Readers. It's funny, I'm not sure how many people really read my blog. I'm thinking I have a total of around 30 peeps checking it out. But maybe there are a few lurkers out there. Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you for stopping by and for enduring my sometimes sad entries. Thank you also, to my IF ladies who leave such sweet, supportive and funny comments on my blog.

I've been slacking a bit on my blog entries. Mainly, because I've had a lot on my brain lately. The last week or two has been emotionally exhausting and I just felt burnt out. I've been feeling another emotion lately, and that is acceptance. I honestly don't think I can be surprised anymore by pregnancy announcements. Of course, they still might sting a little at first, but the whole surprise element has gone out the window. I just think I've come to accept that every girl on the planet will have a baby before me. Does anyone else feel this way? I know that sounds dramatic, but I really think it's the case. I will be the last girl standing. Like getting picked last for dodgeball or something. Please don't try and cheer me up with the "Save the best for last" song and dance :) Sweet of you, readers, but won't help :) I mean, I don't even think I'd be surprised if my 88 year old Nana called me tomorrow and said " Sarah, I'm pregnant...with triplets." OR if my Goldfish (who we've named Walter) turned out to be a girl, and spelled out in bubbles "I'm preggo" in her/his tank. Seriously. Wouldn't be surprised. Don't get me wrong though, this new acceptance business isn't going to keep me from moving forward and kicking IF in the balls...

I do have some good news to share. Well, "moving forward/kicking IF in the balls" news. Monday I called to make an appt with the RE and got one for May 14th!!!!!! It's the first available appt and I took it. I knew there would be somewhat of a wait, so I didn't care. The receptionist was sooooo nice too and very organized and efficient. Within a matter of minutes, from getting off the phone with them, I received an email to my phone of paperwork we need to fill out. It just felt so good to make that move and to know that I soon will be seeing a specialist to help me figure out WHY this is happening to me. Two years and a miscarriage, and I'm finally going to be getting some answers. They even have an open house the last Wednesday of every month, so that you can meet the practioners and check out the clinic. We are definitely going. I want to learn all I can. I'm going to be a sponge just soaking in all the information they give us. I also found out this week that my insurance does cover the specialist visits, with a $20.00 co-pay. And that they cover artificial insemination but not IVF. Not surprised with the IVF, but (and this is going to sound naive) does an IUI count as artificial insemination?

It was funny, the other night Matt was joking that we're going to be " Matt & Sarah Plus 8" like "Jon & Kate Plus 8." I had to laugh, because we both have a lot to learn about moving forward in all of this. I already have experienced a lot with IF and have learned a bit along the way. But he is a freshman at the IF High School. I think he thinks we'll walk in the door of the RE and walk out with a litter in my belly. :) But in reality, it's going to be a long process and most likely not a "quick fix." Or maybe it will be! Who knows. But I am glad we have an appt set so he and I can learn together...

Maybe someday I'll be wearing one of these t-shirts :)





Lots of funny IF t-shirts and things at Cafepress.com! Check it out.