I apologize if this post, includes a whole lot of rambling. We just returned from my friends "K & B's" St. Patrick's Day party. To be honest, lately I feel like that commercial for a depression medication. The one where the girl needs to be "wound up" all the time, just to get through the day. Earlier, I wasn't even sure if I would make it to the party. Sounds dramatic, but for the past few months my idea of a good time is sitting at home on the couch, watching a movie with my honey or blogging about the baby I should be carrying. But tonight I wanted to be out, I wanted to see my friends and the new house they bought. My cousin "L" came with us, and it was great to see her and hang out. Between chatting about the Mets, our family, and life...we got talking about sperm banks. If you were a single chick in her thirties would you consider conceiving a baby through a sperm bank? I would. This conversation also got me thinking about how different this world is. There was once a time, where having a baby without being married was considered shameful. Not today. Anything goes, and I think that's wonderful. Who's to say which "situation" is better to bring up a child? Gay, straight, single, married, engaged...who cares!!?? As long as that child, is well taken care of and loved, then what does it matter. My mind is on the whole sperm thing, because earlier today I saw a commercial for an entire show dedicated to SPERM. I think it airs Sunday March 14th on the National Geographic Channel. The preview for it was weird. Really weird. I think I might watch it though. When I think of sperm in this whole process of TTC, I automatically think of the movies "Look Who's Talking," where in the beginnng they show the whole process of the talking sperm swimming towards the egg. Go ahead and laugh, but I know you know what I'm talking about :) I'm starting to think I should consume more wine. On a regular basis. Because it seems to calm me and make me relax. I feel good right now, not intoxicated, but it has taken the "edge" off. Ahhhh.....
Although, trying to make a baby and alcohol don't mix. And the reason I'm so ok with drinking wine tonight, is because AF showed her annoying face today. Yup, she's back. I was expecting her, but I still played the whole "Well, what if..." game this week. As in, what if this exhaustion means I'm pregnant, what if these weird twinges (like I had when I was preggo) are the real thing again? What if, my crying at the drop of a hat is preggo hormones? What if, I've just gone crazy...
At least I don't have to drop another $14.00 at Wal-Mart tomorrow on a pregancy test. There's the positive (no pun intended).
I had a good time tonight though, thanks to some people I love :)
Maybe tomorrow after dinner at my Grandma's, I'll cuddle up with a bottle of wine and the Sperm show on National Geographic. Good times.
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3 comments:
I'm really sorry about AF. Hopefully you at least enjoyed the wine.
I know exactly what you mean when you describe feeling like the wind up girl in the commercial. It's good that despite all that you ended up having a good time.
I have so been there, trying to console myself during AF that I don't have to spend money on a Pregnancy test.
My heart's with you.
Unfortunately, as much as the world has changed, we still have encountered people who thing poorly of us having a child before being married. We have a situation that prevents us from getting married yet, but made the decision to start trying to conceive before that. Apparently some people are concerned how our child will be stigmatized later in life. Needless to say, I'd like to punch them in the face for calling my daughter a bastard. But for the most part, people don't care.
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