TVT

Thank goodness it's TVT (Thought Vomit Thursday) because I have lots of thoughts running around this head! And GO....

• Earlier this week I kept smelling a really strong odor like cat pee! We don't have any cats, so it was a mystery. The smell (especially with my baby nose) was making me so nauseous. After I cancelled the idea that there was a ghost cat peeing all around me, I realized the smell was coming from a batch of clothes I had just washed. We live in an apartment and share a washer/dryer with other people. Even though our landlord doesn't allow pets, we know some people have cats. I know this because one day while cleaning out the dryer lint vent, it was full of cat hair! Gross! I like cats, but come on people! And so I immediately thought someone must have washed something with cat pee on it before I used the washer. Why else would my clothes smell like cat pee? But then my husband did a load of laundry last night and the clothes smelled heavenly. WTH? Maybe my baby nose is just out of control.
• I last posted about my Doppler drama and not being sure if it was actually the heartbeat I heard. After some experimenting and listening to the sounds CD the doppler company gave us, I realized that it wasn't actually the heartbeat. The first sound they played on the CD was called the "fetal blood flow" sound. And that was exactly what I heard on the doppler. However, in my mind if I can hear fetal blood flow, that obviously means the babies heart is going for the blood to flow, right? I decided I'm not going to test the doppler out again until my Nov 7th appt. They will use one on me then, and I can kind of get an idea how they are doing it.
• Did anyone see that Guilliana Rancic (sp?) found out she has breast cancer right before starting another IVF? How scary and sad. Like she didn't have enough stress dealing with infertility. I hope she's able to get healthy! Pretty scary stuff.
• I've been watching "Up All Night" and it's pretty funny. This week they had the birth story, which was hilarious. I was laughing so hard and then crying at the end of it. What it confirmed for me that I'm okay with my birth plan. This is what my birth plan consists of: Get to the hospital, get an epidural, get the baby born quickly and safely for all parties involved. I know that some people may judge me by such a simple ( or lack thereof) birth plan, but honestly I'm okay with that. Not much in my life that I've planned, actually goes according to plan. If that were the case, I would have a couple of kids and a house on the beach by now. I just have a feeling that if I write out a birth plan, the plan will definitely change. So I'm gonna go into it trusting and with an open mind. This is surprising for me, because normally I'm a big planner!
• Still haven't colored my hair!! Yup. Prettyyyyy dark at the roots. Looks awesome. Even though I know it's ok, I still for some reason feel like it's a death sentence. But I am definitely going to get "to the root" ( ha.ha.ha.) of things this coming week.
• I bought the mini 90 calorie coke cans the other day. I love it. I deserve it. And one of these a day isn't going to hurt me or LM. The doctor and everyone says so:) Was super nauseous a half hour ago, drank a mini coke and I'm doing better now!
• My long term relationship with Crinone is ending on Saturday. I hope to let it down gently. We've been so close these past few months. And I'm a bit sad and scared about it. I truly believe it's helped keep this pregnancy going and I can't help but be scared to end it. My fertility doctor told me to cut back to one a day at 11 weeks, which I did. And then at my last OB appt I expressed my concern about ending the Crinone at 12 weeks and so she told me that if it made me feel better I could continue to 13 weeks. Uh, yes please! So I did, but this Saturday is 13 weeks and it will be time to stop. I know by this point the placenta takes over the progesterone and all that, so I'm just going to have to trust that everything is working properly.
• I went and visited everybody at my work yesterday and brought cookies. Cause who doesn't love a chocolate chip cookie during their work day? I wanted to say hi to everyone but I also needed to talk to my boss. My OB has me on continued light duty and just like before that's not going to work with what I do. The job is too physically demanding. And I'm not one of those people who sit around and let everyone else do the work. And my hematoma is still around. It has shrunk but is still there. So I am in the process of trying to get my disability extended. This is okay with us. We honestly do not want to risk anything with this baby. It may be our one chance for a biological child and we have too many emotions (and money!) invested into this. Now, I know pregnant women work all the time. I know pregnant women who did IVF work all the time. But we feel this is the best decision for us. I could very easily throw out the light duty letter from my OB out and continue to work. But we are just not willing to. Going into the start of IVF I never thought I might be out of work in the beginning. I thought maybe towards the end of the pregnancy I might have to check out early, but never did I think I wouldn't be working. So it's been an adjustment (financially too!) but have no regrets. Our priority right now is to have a take-home baby in April. This is the most significant, most special, most amazing thing we will ever do! So if that means, a MUCH smaller paycheck for awhile then so be it! It's tough because a lot of people agree with us on this. "It's just not worth the risk" they say or " I don't blame you guys, you've been through hell, this is your time." A lot of really understanding and supportive things have been said to us. And there are some people who you can tell think it's ridiculous that I'm not working. And that's their opinion. But it still kind of hurts. I mean, we don't know if I did go back to work if anything horrible would happen. But we also don't know that it wouldn't...
• After I left work yesterday, I stopped at the grocery store quick for a few things. I've been loving fresh fruit lately and I bought a small carton of blueberries. I may or may not have eaten the whole carton on the way home...
• I'll be 13 weeks this Saturday, and I don't care what anybody says, I'm considering that over the first trimester :) I'm done playing the "Guess when the first trimester is over game" :)
• Is it true you can suck on dum-dum lollipops while in labor? Some people have told me they said you can bring candy like that, but then they tell you that you can't have it! What a tease! Because if it's allowed, my birth plan will definitely include dum-dum lollipops.