Thursday, August 4, 2011

My Fears

I feel like I just need to type my fears out. Because there are quite a few of them running around my head right now. And here they are in bullet form...

  • I'm terrified that after my trigger tonight, I'm going to get OHSS. I'm already soooo uncomfortable and crampy.
  • I'm freaking out that I'm going to ovulate before my retrieval on Saturday. Please stay put eggs!
  • I'm afraid of waking up in the middle of the retrieval and feeling everything!! I want to be OUT. Completely OUT.
  • I'm so nervous that they won't get enough eggs.
  • I'm also nervous that none of the eggs will fertilize.
  • And my biggest and most realistic fear? That eggs will fertilize but they won't divide enough to even make it to transfer.
And there you have it girls, my fears.

My appointment this morning went well. Eggs are blown up, est levels are my highest ever, lining nice and thick!!! The perfect recipe for a baby. I'm just so scared that because everything has gone well so far, that we are waiting for the other shoe to fall. Ugh, the life of an infertile girl.

However, now that I got my fears out on paper (screen), I'm going to be excited and hopeful and think positive!!!!! :) This has to work...

8 comments:

Faith said...

I wish I could calm your fears and have all the answers, but no one can! The waiting is SO hard! Hang in there, girl...you've come SO far! Keep up your hope!

Beeker's Mom said...

I just had a shot of Dilaudid (sp?) for my retrieval. I was loopy until they did the actual procedure when I feel like I sobered up. However, I will tell you that any pain you might feel is well worth it. I wish you the very best.

A m a n d a said...

I'm glad you got all those fears off your chest. Good luck with the trigger tonight..I can't believe this is IT!! So excited for you, I know everything will continue to go perfectly :)

manymanymoons said...

Your e-mail about the knock on the bathroom door and thinking it was me cracked me up! I am persistent, but rest assured that I refuse to follow anyone into the bathroom. :)

I was there this morning though. Missed ya by a day.

You are going to do awesome tomorrow I just know it. I can't wait to get an update!

Jenny said...

damn infertility...I know exactly how you feel and all I can tell you is that it's normal.
The only thing I can say is that the trigger controls when you ovulate so I'm fairly sure you can't ovulate sooner once you trigger.
P.S. I'm jealous that you get to be completely out for your retrieval...I was awake the whole time and it was more painful than labor...I bit my husband's hand without even noticing!

Emily said...

Hugs to you. I know how hard it is to deal with all of these fears. Wishing you all the luck in the world.

Oak said...

Good luck tomorrow!! Sounds like you're all systems go! :) And the fears? Totally normal, just try to focus on all the positives!

marg said...

Sarah, Prayers and best wishes for tomorrow. Positivity is the way to go.